You ain't heard nothing yet

11 January, 2008

It's four years since the Californian wine film Sideways came out, and Merlot sales still haven't quite recovered from their lambasting by lead character Miles, played by Paul Giamatti.

With 2008 looking like the year of the blockbuster - Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, a new James Bond film and Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince are all set for release - OLN takes a look at the films that should be released to put wine back on the movie-goer's map.

Pinot & Prejudice - a revamp of Jane Austen's classic novel in which Mr Darcy is a rampant wine snob but Lizzie Bennet wins him over to the joys of Chilean Cabernet.

In the Year 2525 - in a post-apocalyptic London, zombies control the streets and the handful of survivors hide in the deserted Tube network and other underground passages. They stumble across a long-forgotten cellar of fine wines and are able to rebuild a cultured society thanks to its civilising influence.

Tannatman - a gritty, blue-toothed hero who achieves superpowers by swigging Madiran. Well, maybe not ...

That's Rich ...

Spittoon thought it was rather a classy release, but the winemakers of northern Italy seem to have taken umbrage at Paris Hilton's canned Prosecco.

The Times reports grumblings over (a) the use of the word Prosecco (fiercely protected by its custodians) and (b) the fact that the "wine" is in a can and mixed with fruit juice.

And what's wrong with fruity wine? If it's good enough for the airbrush heir-head why isn't it good enough for Treviso?

Well, Fulvio Brunetta, head of the Treviso branch of farmers' union Coldiretti, is quoted as saying producers would consider a response "up to and including legal action" against Rich Prosecco, which is advertised by the ever tasteful Ms Hilton posing in the desert in the buff. Sprayed gold.

Last year's jail time clearly had a profound effect on Britney's best mate.


The health lobby has spent plenty of time highlighting the prevalence of binge-drinking teens and "dangerous" ≠middle-aged, middle-class drinkers over the past year.

Perhaps it should also be watching out for drinking problems among our four-legged friends , after an Austrian newspaper reported the story of Dingo, a three-year-old labrador who was rushed to the animal equivalent of A&E when he was found by his owner stumbling around and "reeking like a beer hall".

"The dog had dreadful wind and diarrhoea and was vomiting a lot," said vet Karl Hofbauer. "When I got him up on the table, it smelt like a distillery."

But it turns out drunken Dingo hadn't gone on an RTD-binge - he had secretly scoffed half a kilo of dough, which fermented in his stomach and turned into alcohol.

Travelling ales

Ever felt like a beer, but the thought of getting up and getting one was just too much to handle? Enter the RC Cooler from US gadget-maker Interactive Toy Concepts - a robotic beer chiller on wheels that will come whizzing across the room to deliver a perfectly cooled beer at the touch of a button. Just perfect for those glued-to-the-TV-screen moments.

Beer ahoy!

A mystery container which washed up on a beach in the remote Western Isles of Scotland may well have been a beer fermentation tank, according to a BBC report. A dog walker found the 51ft container near Griminish, which is known locally as Stinky Bay. Stornaway Coastguard said the container resembled tanks used by Coors - but the brewer said it hadn't noticed any of its fermentation vessels going missing.

Hair raises cash

Warehouse workers at Winebox, which supplies drinks packaging and wine accessories across the UK, took a tip from Down Under last year and turned November into "Movember" - a month when all the men grow moustaches to raise cash for a chosen charity. Not wanting to be outdone, the female members of the Winebox came to work in fancy dress every Friday, with themes such as 1980s, and 1960s beehives. The Movember Moustache Winner was 21-year-old Jono from New Zealand (pictured below), and the combined facial hair and fancy dress raised £324 for Cancer Research.

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