Q I have a customer who clearly knows very little about wine but loves to stop and talk nonsense about the subject. Should I pick him up on his errors or just tolerate his factual inaccuracies?
A We all have favourite regulars who insist they prefer Chablis to Chardonnay. I just smile and nod. Why embarrass them and lose their trade?
A If I stopped to correct every customer who asked for "Ryesling" wine, "Base" or "Bombardy-ay" ale or "Moway" Champagne, I'd never get any work done. Plus one of them would punch me in the mouth. Does that answer your question?
Q I'm considering lighting my shop with candles for Halloween. Is this a stupid idea or inspired genius?
A Depends how much you care about shoplifters. In my experience, they just love shadowy corners.
Q Is it in poor taste to keep my grandfather's ashes on the shelf behind the till?
A My friend's stuffed terrier is on display at his antiques shop in Yorkshire, and is well loved by his customers, so I doubt anybody is going to find your idea offensive - with the possible exception of your granddad. I know mine wouldn't want his final resting place to be wedged between Glen's Vodka and Drum tobacco.
Q I have had the same bottle of Scotch in my window since 2002. It's become an in-joke and now we intend to leave it there . Can anyone beat our five-year achievement?
Q The Trading Standards officer who conducted a sting operation which caught out one of our assistants has started coming into the shop as a customer. Should I feel ashamed that I can't say more than a grudging "thanks" to him?