This little piggy went to vodka market

08 February, 2008

So-called style bars have long been fond of making weird versions of vodka by dunking Dime bars and bits of mint Aero in them, but few have yet cottoned on to the delights of bacon vodka.

An internet blogger has handily shared the recipe for making the stuff, but we can't help thinking

Heston Blumenthal would be able to bring a little more finesse to the exercise.

Anyway, here goes:

Fry up three strips of bacon

Add the cooked bacon to a clean pint-sized mason jar (we think they mean "put the bacon in the jar" rather than perform some arithmetical feat with the two). Trim the ends of the rashers if they are too tall to fit in the jar

Add crushed black peppercorns (optional)

Fill the jar up with vodka. Cap and place in a dark cupboard for at least three weeks

Place the bacon vodka in the freezer to solidify the fats. Strain out the fats through a coffee filter to give a clear, filtered, pale yellow bacon vodka

Decant into decorative bottles - and enjoy (again optional, we presume).

Michigan mower man

News reaches us that a man in Michigan has been arrested on suspicion of being drunk in charge of a lawnmower.

Frank Kozumplik took the vehicle through a snowstorm to buy wine at a ≠local liquor store

and was caught with four bottles of wine on the return journey

and blood alcohol two-and-a-half times above the state limit.

Kozumplik (surely the practice of buying alcohol by lawnmower

will hitherto be known as "doing a Kozumplik" ) explained the matter away by saying that his wife had taken the car to work

so he had no other way of getting to the store.

So, let's get this straight: you're saying that if she hadn't got the car you'd, just have gone in that instead, and that would have been all right, would it?

Police confiscated the lawnmower

- but

maybe they

would have been better advised to confiscate


Mind your language

Next time you're visiting a winery in Crete, don't bother asking to see its collection of qetos, because they won't have a clue what you're talking about. Neither will you have much success trying to rustle up investment for a bottled ebauthoo business in Newfoundland.

Both words (respectively meaning "wine jars" and "water")

are obsolete due to the demise of native speakers of the languages from which they come (the lingo called Beothuk in Newfoundland and Linear B Minoan in Crete, Fact Fans).

And a word of warning to Pernod Ricard if

it' s considering using moithgnatha, the Old Irish word for "famously smooth", in a Jameson ad campaign, because speakers of that have all copped it too.

Get your vitamins

Advocates of the health benefits of moderate beer drinking might want to get behind Vitamin Beer, a Philippino invention which combines beer with vitamin B, apparently the vitamin most abundantly lost through heavy drinking.

The drink is the brainchild of inventor Billy L Lalang, arguably the man with the most alliterative name in the global drinks industry. We can only hope his wife's name

is Lily.

Carlsberg won't miss Buss

And then, just when you thought Lily L Lalang couldn't be rivalled for Name of the Week, along comes Marie Grundtvig Buss (though alas, no matter how long you wait for a Marie Grundtvig Buss, two don't come along at once).

Ms Buss is a Danish TV journalist who appeared less than impressed with a £200-a-pop beer that's been produced by Carlsberg for posh Copenhagen restaurants, suggesting that the 600 available bottles would only be bought by "show-offs".

Carlsberg prefers to think of its Vintage No 1 being drunk with gourmet blue cheese or a "very special friend" - or both perhaps.

The beer is matured in Swedish and French oak casks in a darkened crypt 50ft

below the company's old brewery, and bottles come with labels etched by famous Copenhagen artists.

Carlsberg says it's the most expensive beer in the world

- its top brass obviously haven't been out for a night in central London pubs recently.

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