bring a whole new meaning to the phrase.
A scientist at the California Polytechnic State University has created two beers
using yeast that's some 45 million years old
- it was extracted from a Lebanese weevil fossilised inside a slab of Burmese amber.
The hastily-assembled Fossil Fuels Brewing Co has used the yeast to make a pale ale and a wheat beer.
Beer tech-heads will be thrilled to know that the yeast can only consume carbohydrates, unlike modern brewing yeasts that work on a range of sugars, producing a beer which its creator, Raul Cano describes as having a "weird spiciness to the finish".
Plans for a launch promotion at 44,997,992BC prices have been ruled out.
Gazza and the 20cl media frenzy
Pity poor Makhen Singh, dubbed "the most irresponsible off-licence owner in Britain" by the tabloids for selling Paul Gascoigne a bottle of whisky at 10 in the morning. The former Kettering manager called in at the shop in Dunston, Gateshead, after failing to get into a nearby pub. Singh told the Daily Mail: "I have a licence to sell alcohol, I'm not doing anything wrong. Paul is just a customer like any other.
"He seemed in good spirits. If he has problems that's his own life." And all this fuss over a 20cl bottle.
Doh! Duped by the naked gag
A 35-year-old man from Newhaven, East Sussex, thought he was on to a good thing when a group of youngsters in the town centre offered him two cases of lager if he dared to run up and down the high street three times. Not a bad offer, he thought, even if they were insisting he did it naked.
Having stripped off and completed the task, the sportsman was rather upset to find that the youths were nowhere to be found, and neither were his clothes. He then faced a long and cold walk home, and a little chat with the boys in blue.
PC Luke Brown said: "It was just one of those little things that makes police work interesting." After all that exertion, "little" may well have been the operative word.
Oh beer, Tim
"'Hands down, the best beer book I've ever seen .' What is the Manchester Evening News talking about?"
What indeed. Members of the Guild of Beer Writers who received this email from their chairman, Tim Hampson, were presented with a link to some blurb for The Beer Book, an exciting new project which "tells you everything you always wanted to know about beer, but perhaps had one too many to ask". Its author? Erm - Tim Hampson.
Ciggie pictures come up Trumps
Is it us or is there something just a little bit Top Trump s about the new pictorial health warnings on cigarette packs? We can just imagine kids collecting the entire set like so many Panini stickers. Not only that - aren't some of them a bit vague? The picture of sperm hardly strikes fear into the heart of smokers - especially those who like tadpoles. The graphic of some wrinkly hands just evokes fond memories of your gran. The corpse in the "smokers die younger" picture looks like a favourite uncle snoozing on the beach and as for the "choose freedom" message: won't nicotine addicts merely interpret this as freedom to smoke?
Palmer's tips just rock
Majestic's Jeremy Palmer has been filing a report from Argentina on the Majestic blog, 10 years on from his first visit there. He's impressed with what he's discovered - not just the "inky, irony Malbecs" but the survival techniques he's picked up. "If you are caught indoors during an earthquake, stand beneath the door frame of your room," he urges readers. "It's the strongest and most stable part of the wall." Useful to bear in mind should the earth ever move in Watford.