spittoon

27 July, 2007

Cornish farm boys beware

Is there no end to the depth of creative talent working

on British TV? Or indeed, no beginning?

The latest reality wheeze is a programme fronted by well-known something-or-other Tara Palmer-Tomkinson in which city girls go to Cornwall to find

romance with someone from the local farming community. Yes, you are thinking what we're thinking.

The production company Two four approached the St Austell

Brewery to provide wooden barrels and beer for a barn dance episode, resulting in the equally unlikely mismatch of Palmer-Tomkinson and a can of Tribute ale.

Jeremy Mitchell, head of marketing at St Austell, said: "We try to help out with props for local filming as we know that budgets are often tight."

Don't encourage them, Jeremy, don't encourage them.

Just what you always wanted

Still under the heading "what the world's been waiting for", a new website offers shops a resource to buy bits of branded merchandise .

Yes, buy - whatever happened to scrounging from a rep?

The product range has a cidery, French spirity feel at the moment, as only Pernod Ricard and Constellation have signed up, but the folks at

where did you get it.co.uk say they're talking to others with a view to becoming the "largest site for drinks merchandise on the internet".

For now, if you've been struggling to lay your hands on a Diamond White ladies' fitted vest, a Blackthorn windproof lighter or a Malibu tray, this is the place for you.

Can't help thinking the name could be a bit troublesome though, leading to lots of conversations along the lines of:

"I say, that's a lovely Malibu tray you've got there. Where did you get it?"

"Where Did You Get It."

"No, come on, where did you get it?"

"Where Did You Get It."

"Look, just stop taking the mick and tell me where you got it?"

"Where Did You Get It."

And so on and so forth.

Fantasy frolics

The invitation to share your fantasy m énage

à trois with the world sounds like a research brief for the Jeremy Kyle Show but it could win you a trip to the Napa Valley to blend your own wine, courtesy of PLB and the Folie

à Deux winery which makes a wine of that name.

To be in with a

chance, entrants should

e-mail emma@ew-pr.co.uk

detailing their fantasy and explain why they think it could be an orgasmic combination in no more than 250 words. You need to be working full

time in an off-licence or wine shop, aged over 23

and get your entry in by July 31.

By the way, we ought to mention that your m énage

à trois is supposed to be a fantasy blend of grapes such as a sinful Zin from Amador County, a dollop of bounteous Bobal from Utiel-Requena and a saucy soupçon of Tuscan Sangiovese .

If you're still not sold on the idea, the trip includes the chance to see "Calistoga's famous fainting goats". It'd be silly not to.

Once you pop ...

It's been a long time coming, but at last a

US plastics company has given the world "an advanced, dispensing closure technology" that

instantly provides consumers with "a flavor-enchanced, fresh beverage and health benefits, too".

What that means in English is that Erie Plastics' Pop

N' Shake allows you to customise a bottled drink by infusing it with liquid or powdered flavourings, vitamins or other additives that you've already put in a special chamber.

Yes, Sunny Delight with ground nutmeg, Lucozade Sport and camomile, and Fanta with a Gold Blend twist are just a

Pop

N'

Shake away. Can't wait.




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